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Sunday, May 31, 2009
Another month and still nothing...
Another month and still jobless. Been through interviews and still nothing. If only I get a job than all of everyone else’s problem would be solved and at least I can have some peace in my life. But no I just had to live with people who couldn’t give a damn about having a roof over their heads. All they care about it their money. These people cant give and take a little. Just only for a few months. If you wanna count every single cent. Than find. Who the hell paid the bills? Who the hell gave you the roof over your head? Who the hell gave the clothes on your back? Ya, you’ve been working but he has too. Why cant these freaking people understand.

If only I’ve gotten a job. Than all these wouldn’t have happened. If only I had just started work after my ITE, all these wouldn’t have happened. At least there would be income for the house. And everyone’s lives would be easier. Ya, it would be hell for me but hey at least I don’t have to listen to people talking about their money being used, they have whatever they wanted. They would lead a happy life and LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!!!

For that to happen now is for me to get a job. I need at least 900 to settle all the bills for the house. And than take up another stupid bank loan to pay the old man his CPF. Which in total I need at least 1000 plus to pay off everything. And the one who has to do all that is ME! Because no one else wants to pay for anything with their money. Their money is their life so therefore they cant part with it. I hate these kind of people…

~ { 10:50 PM }
reflections of you and me;

Saturday, April 25, 2009
vending of anger
Many things are heavily left on my shoulders. It’s like I’m walking around with a bag filled with rocks on my back. It’s been 3 months and I’ve not gotten a job yet. I’m have almost given up applying. I feel like I’m lost hope of everything. Now a days I wake up not knowing what I should do besides my usual routine which is,

* Wake up
* Wash the dishes
* Shower
* Cook lunch
* Do the laundry (if any)
* Job searching

Other than that I would help my uncle out at his office. But even that is a crime. COME ON! I wake up every freaking morning doing housework. And there’s one freaking lazy ass who comes home, eats, sleeps and that’s all she does. And when I have events on Saturday or if I help my uncle out at his office. My mom calls him and COMPLAINS SCREAMING I don’t do the housework and I sit on my laptop all day. HELLO! Who the hell has been cooking and washing your laundry. Wait maybe they suddenly decided to come to life and wash themselves and the foods just happen to crawl out of the fridge and cook themselves. If that is what you think than HEY! I have nothing to say. And mind you, I go to the my uncle's office when there's no one at home. I repeat NO ONE AT HOME! I don't go to his office every day or every Saturday.

And if the moron is reading this. STOP your fucking threats. You may have mom on your side whenever you find it convenient for yourself. I maybe stupid at the game your playing but believe me will not win. You can threaten me all you want. I HAVE HAD ENOUGH! You go ahead and do whatever you fucking like. From now on you wash and you cook for yourself. Any laundry left on the sofa will be thrown into your room that includes the dishes you use and don’t wash! And to someone else who I very know is reading this. I will come over for 2 weeks under 2 conditions. 1) I have not found a job. 2) I will not eep over cause Tuesday and Friday I have training and end around 9 plus almost 10 PM. And you can keep your money. I’m not hard up for it

~ { 7:25 AM }
reflections of you and me;

Monday, April 13, 2009

Hard Times
In these hard times
Of unreported unemployed voices
Of ignored college graduates
Of desperate youth
As well as desperate old
In these times
Education is overlooked
Pale profit wins over ethics
Our youth gets pushed further
Further away from their hard earned achievements
Further away from their intricate dreams
In these times
Fresh bread is left behind to turn into mold
Experience overtakes knowledge
Education becomes a burden
The educated are the punished
When they should be awarded
Education is no longer counted as experience
Our interactions with one another
Is no longer experience
They become experience (in the eyes of employers) by the documentation of a paycheck
To be qualified
We must be paid to interact with each other
We must be paid to use our knowledge
We must be paid to develop our skills
When in reality
We pay for our education ourselves
And in our education in which we pay
We interact and learn from others without demanding to be paid
In the eyes of the employer
Education is not experience
Eight years of college and achieving a P.H.D.
Is no longer experience
What employers don't realize is...
Education is a full-time job
A full time job that we do not get paid for
Education doesn't employ us
We employ education for ourselves
Yet...education is still not experience
When will they open their eyes and enlighten their minds?
Education should never have to come last
But should always come first
No wonder we are behind
This would I guess sum up what is happening to me. Graduated...but still no job. Somehow what my twin said to me the last time just keeps playing in my head like a broken tape recorder. And it can really drive one crazy and somehow it makes it sound right. Maybe she is right. Maybe I am useless. Maybe I’m good for nothing. EERRR!!! SHUT UP! I’ve got to keep a positive mind. I will get a job soon. I will. I know I will. I didn’t work my ass off for the diploma for nothing…right…..

~ { 1:16 AM }
reflections of you and me;

Thursday, April 2, 2009
long time no update....hiaz....
Wow! Its been awhile since I updated all to sum up everything that happened so…I just turned 23. yes I’m that old. I’ve graduated from school. YES! That is the one of the best bday present I’ve ever gotten. The other bday presents was a Care Bear teddy, the 2nd edition of Twlight: Newmoon a gift from Hafiz, another Sidney Sheldon novel to add to my collection…wee….and a brand new phone. The sad thing was that my eldest sister and bro-in-law forgot it was my bday and how they found out is all thanks to a parking coupon. She only found out when my sister was cutting out the date.

Other than that, right now I’m jobless. It’s a little depressing due to the position, I am at home. My own twin told me that I was useless. So I’m really looking forward to a job now. Even if it’s a temp position I’d take it. At least I would have $$$$. I’ve been going to my uncle’s office doing some quotations and stuff. Pretty cool but confusing with the different prices and the names of productions quoted. But nonetheless its good experience when I get a job. Which I hope is soon.

Oh and another thing sis if you are reading which I’m sure you are. Please stop asking me why I’m not choosing the police force. If you had noticed your little sis has changed. She’s not the tom boy who loves the police force anymore. She has turned into a LADY. Yes I still might go for training and all but that is for my fitness. So ask mom to stop asking me as well. Thank you. As for me being jobless don’t worry I’m looking for a job now.

~ { 7:20 AM }
reflections of you and me;

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Wow its been awhile since I blogged. Well…many things have happened. One of which I PASSED my exams! WEE! NO MORE SCHOOL. But this would mean I have to look for a job. I’m just gonna start work after the 20th of March so I can relax till than. I have to find a job 1 because I’m broke, 2 because I wanna get out, 3 because someone’s not helping out with the household expenses and other people have been saying “Don’t touch her savings. Its for her marriage” or something like that. HEY! Have you forgotten I wanna get married too or am I just a wall to everyone. Or someone’s piece of rag, used only when needed and just to push me to work you want me to work in the police force. Wow amazing, look just because I like the force doesnt mean I want to do it for life. And even if I do apply doesnt mean I will get in. You still have to go through 3 interviews and wait for 2 mnths for these interviews.
And the best part. I’ve been doing the house work even during my exams period till last Friday and I just wanna go out with my best girlfriend to celebrate me finishing school and starting a brand new work life. But NO….that is wrong. I have and must be under their freaking noses 24 7. while someone else can just come home from work and sleep, eat and leaves their dirty dishes in the sink and expects others to clean up after them. HELLO! Do I look like your maid! All I wanted to last Saturday was to go down to the IT Fair have a look around maybe bump into my sister there which I did. After all that have a nice dinner at pasta mania. But Nooooo….my mom had to call me and ask me what time I’m coming home. And to pissed me off. I dont see her calling my twin. No one even knows her class timetable. No one knows when she doesnt have work. But everyone knows about me. And this was what was said during the conversation.

Phone rings...i answered.
Mom: What time are you coming back?
Me: In a while more.
Mom: HUH? You woke up late and didn’t do a single thing.
Me: Nazimah is that what?
Mom: Oh! Everything must rely on Nazimah is it?
Me: Than who’s been doing the house work the past month? Who did the cooking?
Line went died!

She hang up on me. She didn’t wanna listen to facts. LOOK you cant always have it your way. You got pissed off with Pakcik Din because he couldn’t drive you to johor for the grocery shopping. Suddenly you take my twins' side just because she bought $100 worth of grocery. FYI even I can do that. I’ve been giving you $100 every month without fail but no you refuse to see that cause what ever I do is wrong and everything the twin does is right. She goes out with a different guy. Its alright cause she’s gonna get married anyway. So from now on I will do the house chores when I feel like it. See what your other lovely hard-working twin daughter would do…you don’t wanna talk to me fine. I don’t care. You wanna act like a small kid fine. You wanna find war with your x fine. LEAVE me OUT of your wars. You fight them yourself.

~ { 9:05 PM }
reflections of you and me;