Tell Me Your Dream by Sidney Sheldon
Finally I’ve finished another of Sidney Sheldon’s great books. I love the way he writes. Ok I said the way he writes not the contests, ok. There’s a difference. Just wanted to make it clear especially to those who do know what kind of books he writes. The book a borrowed this time round is titled “Memories of Midnight”. The last book I read was “Tell Me Your Dreams” it’s about this lady by the name of Ashley who suffers from split personality disorder. One can develop a split personality due to trauma. Ashley was raped by her father and due to that trauma she developed 2 more ‘personalities’ in her. Tony who was born in London and Atte I think who was born in Italy. Tony was the wild, fun, anger side of Ashley while Atte was the shy, quiet and tends to shy away from human affection. Both have 2 things in common. Tony has a talent in singing while Atte loves to paint. Tony had always been the stronger one, full of hate and anger. And all this while Ashley didn’t have any knowledge of what was happening to her. Ashley fell in love with the star of the football team back when she was in college but her father didn’t like that fact they were seeing each other. So they decided to elope on their graduation night. That was the same day that Ashley’s father enrolled her in a university in London. That night she ran to Jonathon’s place planning to execute their plan to elope together (the star football player). She thought he loved her but infact he wanted only one thing. History repeated itself and Tony came in and she killed him.

The same thing happened to the all the guys who did that to Ashley. After the 4th murder Ashley was found guilty by the State of Virginia. But the problem was that, for one to commit murder, there has to be motive and the murder itself. Ashley didn’t have the motive of kill anyone in fact the other 2 victims were unknown to her. Tony and Atte knew the other two victims. It was not easy for Ashley’s lawyer to prove her not guilty and get her the right treatment she needed instead of a death sentence. Because some states in the US don’t not know that this disorder really existed. But in the end she got the treatment that she needed and she lived a normal life again.

Ok there is no moral to the story and NO I’m not tell you it’s ok to commit murder and then pled insanity or say that you suffer from split personality. They have a way to know if you have a split personality. Hmm…I just wonder if there have been such cases here in Singapore… *walks away thinking*

Things in school are really scaring me all of a sudden. Meet up with our supervisor, Alvin Phang and another guy named Shah. I guess he’s suppose to help us but it’s more like scaring us. Now we have daily reports. Not forgetting our codes and minutes of meetings. ARHH!!!! Good thing Gina’s doing the minutes. But still what Alvin and Shah are asking for is scaring me. I’m praying real hard that we’ll be able to finish it. Shah asked me a question “So do you think your team and finish the project?” and I was like tongue tied. I didn’t know what to say. Fear ran through my mind. I was thinking to myself. We are here trying to solve the errors in our codes and he just had to ask that question. He had a serious look on his face. All I could say was I have no comments. I can’t say that we can and I can’t say that we can’t. I fear that if I said we can’t, it would give a bad impression but if I say that we can, he would want to add more things. For the first time I feel fear for my project. And during lunch with Alvin, Shah and my team, I tried to change topic and played happy tunes in my head. I was drinking a lot of water as well. And Gina noticed it. I don’t know why I felt that sudden wave of fear...

On to light tone…I managed to finish book one of Sidney Sheldon’s “Tell Me Your Dreams”. I was freaking addicted to the book. I found myself reading in the bus, in the lab before i sleep and as I read on I wanted to read more. And I kinda freaked myself out. I don’t know why that happened…haha maybe it’s my imagination. From the looks of it..i might be able to finish the book by this weekend....haha...

another good news is that another one of our pages is WORKING!! And the problem was only with one line! Sigh! Thanks Aisya for troubleshooting it for me. And i want to complain...My stupid PC IE Broswer is not working properly. The codes that Aisya got were the same one i was working on and thanks to my IE broswer that kept prompting me the wrong errors messages, my codes kept getting changed cause i kept thinkin there was something wrong with my codes....ARRGGGG!!! oh well...got FireFox now so...things should be okay....GTG i wanna read my Sidney Sheldon...see ya...

Ok got a feeling that today would be a pretty busy day for me due to our project presentation yesterday. We really need to start working on the codes. Well I have to start working on the codes, not that I’m not. From what my teacher said yesterday. There’s still a lot to be done. Come to think of it we are not even half way through. I’m not sure what my other team mates though; they might have a different view.

I really need to start writing again. I miss writing my stories. I use to have ideas every minute. Now a days I’ve got a major writers block. No ideas at all. I wanna start writing again…I miss sitting on my lappy typing away. The other thing I have been doing is reading Sydney Sheldon’s books. I’m so addicted to them. I love the way he writes…and I’m hunting down all his novels…he he he. I hope to get inspiration for my new stories...i gotta go…need to start on my proj now…see ya.

Ok I got a new hair cut last Sunday…kept the length but I trimmed and thinned my hair. Looks a little better most of my friends who saw said that I looked better. At least I don’t look like a lion in the morning…thanks girlfriend. Lucky you’re my girlfriend otherwise…anyway school…now let’s see…not much improvement on codes. Our client came down yesterday and he helped us a little…ok A LOT. So sue us. PHP coding aint easy okay. Plus it’s a totally new programming language for us. But I have to say PHP language is much easier than JAVA but still its difficult. So you can imagine who much we had to suffer just to do JAVA..hahaha…

Was home late last night. Had to help my uncle fixed up his wireless connection at the CC. And he said he’s a quick learner. I can bet you he will call me up to night and ask me what his password and username to his wireless account…haiz…I swear I’m and over worked and underpaid..wait NOT PAID personal secretary.

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Ok I know I wished to stay home but I didn’t wish to be SICK….! All I wanted was to stay home. Next time when I make a wish I got to be more specific. If only I had a genie…haha. Yes..yes..i was watching Aladdin. Oh well…anyway my throat still hurts. Lost my voice. Let’s add in headache, flu and cough to the list as well. I don’t know how I got sick. All I remembered was coming to school on Monday feeling a little tired. After that lunch I just felt like throwing up…I thought I had food poisoning or something. The next morning. I still went to school. My body felt weak. It got weaker by the time we were suppose to clock out. Had to meet my uncle at the CC to fix up his PC. That’s when my body couldn’t take it and my knees gave way. I couldn’t stand. According to my uncle my face was white as sheet. He sat me down and gave me a hot glass of water. After awhile I felt better but still weak so I decided to take MC for 1 day but I got 2 instead. Feel kinda bad leaving my project team to work on the project alone. My supervisor was suppose to give a software to install in our PCs but I guess he forgot it…

Well…got to go. the meds to took is making me very sleepy…I better get some sleep. I better get well soon…

DAMN! My blog is worth much more then Alvin Phang's GatherSuccess...he's my 2nd surpervisor....hahaha HOW COOL IS THAT! Sigh...if only it was true...i wld be RICH

Damn sleepy today thanks to coming home late last night. When to Johor with my uncle to top up patrol. You know how we Singaporeans complain about the jam due to Johor’s checkpoints. Now its Singapore who’s taking such a freaking long time. The jam is now on Singapore’s side which I find stupid and not necessary.

Anyway, my buddy Suzy just got engaged…one by one my friends are tying the knot. I wasn’t surprised that 3 of my other ‘friends’ who came for the wedding didn’t talk to or even acknowledge that I was there. But hell I don’t care. I can always make more friends to replaced them. Talking about my friends, I had to get my darling Siti to do my make up for me. I’ve become a total idiot when it comes to make up. I’m better at fixing up a PC then wearing makeup and I’m A GIRL! My darling is the opposite. She’s knows nuts about fixing PCs but she an expert on make up so we decided to teach other. I guess what my elder sister said a month back was right. I’ve become nerd, a book worm. She was the book worm at home not ME! But I guess I took over that position... I mean come on, you hardly see me reading a book at home. My brother in law asked about a certain movie the other day and I replied ‘just read the book lah’. And I’m the kinda person who doesn’t care if the movie became out with a book or if it was based on a book. I’ll still watch the movie. What has poly done to me!! Have I really become a book worm…or have I become a nerd…you judge and tell me.. tagboards to your rite...

P.S: Don’t mind the spelling errors or grammer. I’m damn tired….had only 3 hours of sleep last nite

Ok I might have to go on a diet very soon. I’ve been eating a lot and I mean a lot. I so need to diet man! Anyway, I just wanna ask one question. Must there be a special occasion for someone to wear a traditional dress. Yes I wore my baju kurong(traditional malay dress) almost everyone is asking me what’s the occasion. I think I should be wear it more. I’m getting tired of waking up in the morning and figuring out what to wear to school. Usually I’d just wear jeans and a t-shirt but I tend to wear the same thing over and over again for a month as in I’d wear the same kinda jean and shirt 4 times a month. Its like Monday I’d wear blue, Tuesday pink and so on and the next week it would back to square one. Monday blue and Tuesday pink. You get the flow? Anyway, haven’t had the mood to concentrate on my project because I’m on a holiday mood. My darling Siti is coming back from KL today. The night before she left we hung out together till about 10.30pm. We chatted, took pics and have durian (local fruit) it was fun. We chatted about school, guys, life, anything and everything under the sun hahaha. Can’t wait to do it again. It’s really rare that we get to do this. Both would be busy with school or work. and can you image I cut my left hand ring finger while I was trying to open a bottle of COKE! A BOTTLE OF COKE! A PLASTIC BOTTLE! And still hurts since yesterday.

Life is taking a dip for the worse. My mom AGAIN! is not talking so whats new right. And all because of she thinks I’m angry with her, FINE! But please don’t try to make things better after stabbing me like that. You’ve taken away the only person who I can talk to. The person who will never shoot me down even before the conversation starts, my uncle. I feel like I’m losing everything I once had. I’ve lost my laughter, my smile, my will to push for success, the pillar of my strength, everything...

I’m done with trying.
I’m done with smiling when I’m in pain
I’m done putting masks, just to make others happy
I’m done with fighting, for myself
I’m done with proving people wrong
I’m done hiding
I’m done with LIFE

ok before i start my entry...got a feeling there is something wron with bloggers time and date cause my entries are one behind the actually date of publish. So if it says Monday that means the entry was publised Tuesday and forget about the time.

So once again I’m on the verge of just hitting my twin! But I’m holding back again. Who the hell does she think she is? All she cares about is herself. This morning my mom and her went for a little fieldtrip organized by Bishan RC zone 5. It’s a Saturday, my sleep day. A day I wanna stay home. Why can’t they leave alone? When I go out to watch a movie with my friend, she screams at me. When I wanna stay home she screams. Do I really have to stay under her nose everyday of my entire life? And everything I do is wrong. So what if I don’t wanna go. Is that so wrong? And last night my dad gave $100 as usual but he had an overdue bill which was $105. I came home late and tired due to training. When I got home my dad asked me for the bills which got me thinking. Why did he ask me for the bills when my bloody twin was at home. What, is he trying to tell me something?

Anyway I showed him the bills. He asked for the Power Supply bills. I knew that my mom paid for them already. He asked if it was paid for so I said yes. Knowing my mom she would tell me to say NO. What am I suppose to lie when the prove is there. So in replied he said since the Power Supply bills have been pain for, $100 he gave to my twin would be for the overdue bill of $105. So that case was closed. My mom over heard the conversation last night. She just couldn’t wait till the next morning. So when I told her I’ll tell her tomorrow. She got pissed off. I mean come one, I’m dead tired and a very long bad day in school and she wants to drive me up the wall about money. When I come home, that would be only think she talks about money, money, money and BILLS. She doesn’t like it when I ask her for my cash but its ok for her to talk to me about the cash and the bills when I come home from school. Mind you I just step into the house and she starts talking. And the best part she’s got my uncle on her side. Now she complains to my uncle everything. Even things that she doesn’t know the root of. Tell me how can one just stay quiet I have started silent long enough. She can drive any sane to the break of insanity. And I’m one of them. My older sister and brother are so called ‘safe’ from her so is my twin. I’m left to face 2 people. My uncle and her. And when my mom had managed to tell my uncle a story that’s been twisted and turned by her, he will be running after me. I’m really getting sick of this life while my bloody twin is having fun. I’m not done renting out my angry but I’ll save ur guy the agony of reading a long entry.

Ok went to watch sex and the city. This is a movie, you would wanna watch it with your girlfriends. If you are a fan of sex in the city. This is just a the movie for ya. It will make you cry, it would make you langh. It would make you wonder, will your girlfriends always be there for you. Titanic didn’t make me cry but this movie did. So watch it with you girlfriends girls. I’m glad I did.

So that was the only good thing that happened yesterday. My team didn’t have to mood to do our codes yesterday even hardworking Aisya. Neither of us could think.(brain auto shutdown) My mom was screaming at me because I went to watch a movie. COME ON! GIVE ME A BREAK! The last movie I went to watch was with my sister and bro-in-law. Don’t tell me the only time I CAN WATCH A MOVIE is with them. I HAVE A LIFE! I HAVE FRIENDS I wanna go out with. You don’t like it then too bad. I know who I mix around with. You didn’t like me mixing with Jun. I didn’t. you didn’t want me to mix with Ayu, I didn’t. do I have to be under your nose every single second. i’m not a bird for you to keep caged. I’m 22. I have a life. Don’t tell me if I have a shift job which most likely I will, you will call me every freaking minute. And if I have OT you will scream at ME! I believe you will.

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Ok loosing an ex-link card is not CHEAP! Damn! I had to pay $21 just to get a replacement card. JUST THE CARD! And I have to wait for 5 days before the Singapore Bus Service can refund me the balance on my card! So I have to wait for 5 WORKING days. That means I can only get the refund NEXT week.

Singapore is a really expensive country to live in…and they still want to get foreign ‘talents’ and expect Singaporeans to stay. Forget it man! If they can pay the get foreign ‘talents’ to work for them with a better pay then Singaporeans, fine. I might as well be a foreign talent in another country and get a better pay there. And our Minister Mentor said, “Singapore must remain a competitive society to generate growth year after year” ok I have to admit I’m not into politics but this is must speak up for. What do you mean by Singapore must remain a competitive society….one should always read between the lines. What it means is that Singaporeans have to work their ass off just to stay alive in Singapore. Look Singapore’s government is rich and they still want to squeeze Singaporeans dry. If the government continues to do as such...forget about having Singaporeans staying in Singapore. I sure am not gonna stick around.

And I've found someone who has written what I’ve wanted to say about this topic. Lucky Tan, I so agree what hewrote. And I think I better stop here before someone from the government reads this and I’m in shit. That’s what Singapore is good for anyway....

DAMN IT!. Had a very bad start for this morning. Woke up with a headache again. Took a shower then went back to sleep and woke up late. Had to rush out and forgot my sweater. Managed to get the bus in time and fell asleep. Got up just in time to get off at the bus interchange cause I had to change buses. I was off the bus for less than 5 minutes and I released I didn’t have my handphone pouch with me. In 5 minutes my handphone pouch was stolen. I mean come on, the everyone got off at the bus interchange, it’s the last stop if someone did find it, it wouldn’t be so hard for them to hand it over to the service centre. STUPID Singaporeans! My EZ-LINK card and I had $20 in there. AAAARRGGGGGGHHH!!! To hell with the $20 just return my EZ-LINK card. And what’s worse is that my unlce DOESN’T have his car. And I’m fingers are gonna pruple again cause I forgot my sweater.........and since ALL my cash was in the pouch…NO LUNCH! DAMN IT!