Slient Screams NO MORE!
I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me today. Been feeling lost for the past few days. Been moody it’s like I’ve goine mad. I thought the trip to Desaru, Malaysia would help me clear my head so that I could get back on track, well I was wrong. It just made everything worse. Thanks to the people around me. I tried; I tried to make them happy. I tried my best but yes I failed. I failed to be the daughter and the person you people want me to be. I feel so freaking messed up. I even messed up my codes and the project presentation. And my supervisors are kinda pissed with me. I need time…a really long time to get things straight. I tried to ignore. People have been saying…”Stop running away from your problems”, “There’s nothing much you can do but just ignore and do what’s right”, “life has to go on, just do what you can and leave the rest to God”. I can’t do all that when people around me are pushing me to the edge. Each time I do something right or wrong I get shot down. It’s bad enough that I’m being torn apart by the people closet to me. Now I’m being stabbed in the back and kicked aside….EEEERRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just wanna go somewhere and just scream and cry everything out. I wanna stop wearing masks just to make people around me happy. I guess it’s time for me to be me whether anyone likes it or not…I’ve cared for people till the point that I get hurt. That is now going to stop. The masks are coming off. I don’t give a damn about anyone anymore. I’m gonna start doing what is right for me and what is right religiously. Say what you want. Do what you want. I don’t give a damn. From now it’s me, myself and I.