Fear, silence, angry...
Last week wasn’t a very good week for me. Every since the fight I had with my mom she’s not talking to me and she tells my uncle that she’s not talking to my twin either but in real fact we all know which is true. Anyway, my uncle asking if I wanted my mom to come along to johor so I told him its up to him. And when he did call and she did agree, my face changed. Come on she doesn’t want to talk to me. She says I’m worthless and useless and that me living on the streets is better for her, less headache. But than I just ignored it and went along. She tried to talk nicely to me but I didn’t entertain. She was talking about talked about leaving her current job and staying home. And she said that she wanted the keys to all the rooms so she could clean them up and stuff. HELLO!! Like I’m ever gonna give my key to you. HELL NO WAY MAN! Even when I didn’t give my key to you. You broke into my room, went through my things and broke the lock to my drawer just because some asshole lost their camera and I took the blame for it. What makes you think that I would give you the key? It’s like me giving the key to hell. And she went on talking about how things are gonna change at home, that she wants to so called renovate the house and all that. Do YOU have the cash? I sure don’t. I still have to pay for my stupid load that she insisted on me taking for school and lets not forget the house situation and the bills. At the end of the day I would have nothing to in my savings. You want to renovate go ask your favorite daughter for $$$.

So just because of all that it ended up in another fight with my mom. The only time she will be pleased she when I give her ALL my salary and she can do anything she wants with it. When HELL FREEZERS will that happen. And yesterday, I was planning to meet up with my loving BF Hafiz but it was cancelled. Who cancelled it? Me. Because my uncle made plans to go Johor. Hafiz was so cheerful when we first spoke on the phone and when I told him we had to cancel his tone changed he got moody and things went down hill from there. Even when I was talking to him last night he was a little moody so I just kept silent most of the time. I didn’t want to say thing. I was afraid that if I did say something it might make things worse. The pain felt like a knife cutting my heart open slowly last night. It was not because of what he said but it was more of what I did. But I’m happy that he said what needed to be said rather than he kept it to himself and than blow up in my face. That would really scare me. I’ve always been afraid when guys get angry. Those who know me will know the reason why…Right now I don’t know what to do. The fear is eating me up inside. And the only thing I can do is wait….